Unemployment: A dark abyss
It’s Sunday evening and you’re mindlessly scrolling on twitter while downing your fifth plate of rice and the memes about Monday morning and the hustle of 9–5 start to flood in. You retweet some, you quote some and you laugh at some but then, something negative starts to develop at the back of your mind. You try very hard to push it back but you can’t help it. Finally, the thought settles fully on your mind; you are unemployed.
It’s been five months since you lost your job. It’s not your fault though, the company was downsizing and you were unlucky. You remember how hard you prayed for the job and how it wasn’t what you expected when you started.
From the promises of full remote work that never happened and the self-development bonuses you never got to the numerous instances you were thrown under the bus by your superiors, you heave a sigh of relief as you thank heavens your mental health didn’t deteriorate any further.
Your parents, ever supportive, consoled you with the hope of getting a better job and offered to give you a small stipend weekly to cover your needs. Now, they can’t hide their irritation any longer as it has been over five months and your idleness was becoming a problem. Who can blame them? After paying through the nose to ensure you got a good education in one of the numerous private schools in the country and yet no jobs were forthcoming.
Your mind wanders back to the previous job and you remember how enthusiastic and excited you were when you started. You would leave home 6am just to ensure you beat that Third Mainland Bridge traffic and how exhausted you used to be when you got back home late at night. The job wasn’t paying that much, you were just happy you had somewhere to go every morning.
A few months in and the thrill started to fade and every morning became another countdown to when next you could get some sleep. Ibuprofen became your best friend at that point and you were gradually withdrawing from having a social life all together.
Things start to take a turn for worse when instead of getting praised for being proactive at your job, your line manager gave you a stern warning about talking to clients without her permission and a documented agreement. You started to make mistakes as your confidence began to dwindle; sending emails without attachments, leaving out your boss’ email address in an external mail, missing deadlines and then your first query drops a few days to your scheduled performance review. Torture.
Subsequently, you and your line manager stop seeing eye to eye and when the company needed to downsize, you were not surprised your name was on the list of undesirables.
You took your L in good faith and started applying again. This time, you thought, you would look for a company with defined roles and better structure. You didn’t want a repeat of the last company.
Gradually, one month became three and yet no progress. You managed to get by with the weekly stipend from your parents and a commission from helping your friends run errands they were too busy for.
You begin to wonder whether you’re cursed or just unlucky. This is definitely not where you pictured yourself at 22. The companies you applied to for entry level roles didn’t want you and that hurts much more than it should at this point. How will you explain the gap in your resume or the circumstances of your last employment? These thoughts linger on your mind as you scrape the remaining bits of rice on the plate. Eating has been the only thing that doesn’t remind you of your current predicament and you realise you’ve added a little bit of weight.
You take a deep sigh. Another week, another go at the principalities and powers of unemployment.
