Dealing with Impostor Syndrome as a Creative
So let’s get down to business here. This isn’t going to be a research or wikipedia-fuelled write up. It’s just how I see it from my own point of view and from those closest to me.
You know that feeling you get when you get a task from work and you open it up and start to think to yourself, “This is it, they’re going to discover I am a fraud any moment now.” The anxiety that comes with it is also crippling as you begin to look for escape routes and a way to avoid being called out. I mean, it’s not like you’ve been called a fraud before or anything, it’s just the mere thought of it that makes you sweat.
You try to get some work done and the spirit of procrastination comes into play (I have taken three snack breaks and two toilet breaks while writing this). Everything seems to be falling apart inside you as you try.
For me, it has always been the fear of creating subpar work, thus the futile attempts to procrastinate as much as I can. You’d think that after writing for 15 consecutive weeks, I would’ve mastered the art of writing and be able to write at a moment’s notice. Sorry to disappoint, sometimes I have nothing in my head until it’s a few hours to my 6pm publication deadline. Most Tuesday mornings to Thursday afternoons are filled with anxiety and panic that I wouldn’t be able to deliver or I would deliver something not as good as my previous work.
Then there is also fear that it might not just be impostor syndrome in play, that it might just be the fact that I may be incompetent (boy do I have a meme for this). I am learning to take it easy on the self-judgement and just live life as it comes.
I have also seen this happen to a lot of my friends; from the one who thinks she isn’t doing enough as an entrepreneur (sweetheart you’re spectacular!) to the one who has doubts about switching jobs and the one who has started to doubt her academic prowess just after being accepted into a fully-funded PhD programme (baby you’ve got this!). It happens to the best of us and the only way to beat it is to keep grinding hard and do what we love to do.
As this is the last Thursday before my transition to Vague Digital’s space, I’d like to thank you all for keeping up with my writings and remember to give Vague a follow on instagram and watch out for my debut piece on the platform!
